Writing Yourself Into Your Own Knowing by Elektra Porzel

How often have you prayed to find your true self, the one whom you came here to be, do and have on this planet?  That unique and essential self that is the true you?  How many intentions and affirmations have you uttered?   A lot would be my guess.  I have spent all of my adult life in pursuit of that which I came here to be.  As a healer there were stretches of time that I knew that I was doing what I was called to do.  At the same time there was an under-the-surface agitation that I was supposed to be doing something different.  45 years went by in this search.  I raised a family, worked in day care, in associations and in my own healing practice.  I was a trainer, an administrator, a volunteer and a healer.  I created classes that led people to know physical and spiritual self-care.  Yet, I knew that I still had not found what I came here to this planet to be and do.  I knew elements and I knew that I still had not found the key.

About 5 years ago, I discovered the work of Tantra Maat and I knew that she had something that would get me what I wanted.  Faithful would be a good overall descriptor of how I came to be with her work.  Faithful.  I started writing the Creation Exercises about 4 years ago.  At the time, progress was opening my mind to what sentient intelligence was informing me and my perceptive mind about what I craved.  What I didn’t know was that the Craving exercises were helping me find my language, my thoughts.  This  new language was my first hint that I was unique, not weird as my kids had described me, but unique.  I carried something that was needed by the world.  Actually, we all do, but most of us don’t believe that.  The magic of the cravings is that I began to know this in my deepest knowing of me.  The observings gave me perspective.  Helped me step out of my looping life-defeating thoughts and into new thoughts that were mine, not simple repetition of what society had told me.

Tantra introduced the idea that the solar plexus is the source of our greatest intelligence.  By paying attention to my sentient intelligence of what was life-enhancing and life-expanding, I unknowingly released stored trauma from my solar plexus and opened up to the wisdom of my original design.  In writing the creation exercises, I discovered my unique self – both matter and Spirit.  The great part of these exercises is that this process happens for everyone when you regularly write the creation exercises!  We come to recognize ourselves as a unique and essential aspect of Creation.

Recently, I have been re-reading Tantra’s book, “The Language of Creation”, for the umpteenth time.  All this information is in her book.  I just didn’t recognize it maybe, and certainly I didn’t remember it.  What I did do was keep writing the Creation Exercises.  I was faithful to the writing and faithful to being on her calls and without knowing it I was faithful to my own search for my original design, for what I am and what I came here to be, to do and to have.

Here is my advice.  Be faithful to your own search for whom you came here to be.  Keep writing the Creation Exercises regularly.  They were created on the model of the Golden mean by which nature creates.  They help us be the both/and of Spirit & Matter, Biochemical & Alchemical, Finite & Infinite, Sacred & Secular.  Humans are so much more than our cultures tell us we are.  So much more.  We can live in the world that we design through our cravings.  We can be whom we came here to be. And it takes your Attention and your Intention.  Intention is setting a time and place to write daily and a commitment to work this process.  Attention is simply actually writing your craving or observing.  It’s observing what is occurring within yourself and outside of yourself.  It is learning to think your own thoughts and not those of your culture.

Thank you for your commitment to building a new reality that we all want to live in.  My children thank you, my grandchildren thank you and I thank you.  Generations of the future thank us and they will never know our names.  They simply will live in the world that we craved, and wonderfully, they will never know the reality of separation that we had to know.  They will live in a reality of unity and will live whom they came to earth to be, to do and to have.  This future brings a smile to my face and a warm glow in my solar plexus.  May it be so for all of us now and in the years to come.