“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming”, has been an ear worm for the past week! There is silence, except these words jumping in and out of my head! This is so different a way to be and feel from a year ago, at the end of the school year. Before, I would get so tense, and each case not finished, or finishing up to the wire was such drama! Not this year. This beautiful ear worm has taken the other way of being’s place. I know writing Observing Being Creation Exercises has contributed to this being able to just swim…even though such intense emotions of such variety are coming up more than a few times each day.
The ‘swimming analogy’ can be played with in many ways. Writing the observing being template has allowed me to swim from lily pad to lily pad, visiting what is mine to do, doing it, then swimming to the next lily pad. It has been so methodical! Don’t get me wrong…I am not stomping or thrashing in the water, but just floating in the space, breathing, and enjoying the water. Each and every moment in the past five days has been felt, experienced, and sensed so fully, whether happy, sad, frustrating, mad, enthralled, excited…the list of adjectives goes on. Each lily pad has shone with such intense emotions, and best of all? Connections.
We have 5th grade promotion at our school. I had 11 sweet, challenging, sassy, fun, amazing fifth graders that are leaving our school now, and moving on to middle school. This year, I connected personally with each and every family after promotion, and just spent some time with them. What a blessing this was! This lily pad was deep in its roots, as I had been with these families for up to eight years! Connecting with them one last time meant the world to me! I observed being so thrilled with the richness of connecting with family! I also wrote each child notes, letting them know I saw them, and knew they would be successful. I knew the gifts they had to offer, and had offered them many times over while I was working with them. My days this year with these students were filled with great experiences, laughter, kindness, frustration, anger, pain…and I got to be with them and it all! Opening up into the depth of connection with others in the field has been so up in the field lately!
Swimming to another lily pad, our family was shaken up when my oldest daughter left her boyfriend two weeks ago. Through this time, I tread water, kept swimming, and felt calm and with her through it all, just using my fins to push when needed, and hold her in the stillness of the water to rest when needed. What bliss in the pain of observing being a fish while my child learned to swim in deeper waters! Being in the simple observations of being with another in the field, not trying to make things happen has been such a blessing…this space in the water to just be with the tide and move with it has been so sweet…sweetness in the pain.
“Just keep swimming”. This fish is really taking on just being with the tide, and not trying to make it go where it is not supposed to. Remember though, this field has many, many life jackets to throw out to catch you! With you all!