Invisibility

Tufted titmouse

The Nature of Being Seen

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by Victoria McMahon

I grew up in the cultural meme, “children are to be seen and not heard”.  So I tended to be quiet at school and in social settings.  I noticed the world around me and felt awkward much of the time.  As I progressed through school years, I found a way to engage through movement activities like dance, tennis and swimming.  I definitely set myself into the comfort of this meme about being seen by participating in movement and at the same time …pretty quiet.  

As life has progressed, I have given much attention to being heard.  As an adult woman, I have explored the aspects of finding my voice and claiming my value in the world.  I noticed the completion of this balancing act when I finally received an invitation to attend my 35th high school reunion.  Suffice it to say, I had been the “wallflower” in a cast of 550 students in my graduating class.  That weekend I was given the distinction of being “most blossomed”!

So, now I carry many experiences of being seen and heard.  But, here’s where things get interesting.  Up until recently, I had focused my attention on the idea of being seen and heard in work, friendships, partner relationships and social situations.  What is clear about this focus is that it had continued to be related to the realm of human interactions and mostly about the roles and activity within those roles.  

As I have become more and more immerse in the unity community and exploring the nature of my being, I have come to realize that a shift has occurred in my perception of “been seen”.  This shift has been gradual with peak moments of clarity similar to what old paradigms would call the nature of change in oneself over time and the life-defining experiences that stand out through the decades of reflection.  For me, this is now a recognition of an awakening into the nature of my being that I comprehend instead of changes that have happened to me!

So, why do I share all this with you?  Well, the shift has become more and more evident as I steep and deepen into recognizing the recursions in my awakening into the nature of my being.  And while my yoga and other practices have laid a foundation to support me, it is the Creation Exercises and being in the Unity Community that have catapulted me to this moment of comprehension.  My cravings bring forward what is mine to have beyond what I even know is available for me to have.  

One example that shows this for me is when I wrote a craving many months ago.  I was craving connection with the nature beings on the land where I live in Ohio’s Hocking Hills region.  It was mostly about being able to co-exist with all here and harmony would be a bonus. And, I have written observings about my joyful experiences of walking with my dog, Tara before she passed last year as well as the challenges of not wanting to walk in the trees without her.  I have done observings about frustrations with tilling clay soil, co-existing with the insect kingdom and which plants thrive with being delicacies for the animal kingdom.

After many cravings and observings of interactions with the trees, the soil, the deer, the plethora of birds, the mosquitoes, ants and countless other bugs….I had an aha moment!  I was sipping my morning cup of delight while sitting on the deck enjoying the birds visiting the feeder.  This tufted titmouse was shifting between singing and munching away on suet.  It became clear to me that he was singing to me.  He was looking at me, interacting with me and I was being seen by nature as my nature!

Then, later that evening I was noticing pack leader mommy deer eating corn.  She looked up and acknowledged me while I sent her loving greetings.  She continue to look right at me…gazing with her glowing eyes.  Again, she was looking at me, interacting with me and I was being seen by nature as my nature!  

This is what happens when we crave and observe.  Now, other animals are showing up…a walking stick two days ago and a blue heron yesterday.  Excitement for life showing up for me to be seen as my nature of being is becoming the exquisite and magical norm!!  

Take a moment to reflect on the cravings and observings you have been cultivating to expand into the nature of your being.  What evidence do you have of being seen in the nature of your being?

red socks with black polka dots[43391]

It All Started with Polka Dotted Socks by Liz Geyer

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Who would have thought that this life would really begin its trajectory because of a pair of polka dotted socks? In the 1960’s, life as a child was about fitting in, being like everyone else, not standing out, being seen and not heard, blah, blah.  I am so grateful to my mother, who adopted me, because she walked a fine line between being the same as everyone else, and daring to be different.  And that has made all the difference as I have made my way through life.  Because of those beautiful red socks with black polka dots that I so coveted in second grade, I began to awaken to knowing that being different wasn’t easy, yet it was magic.

What was your opening to the magic of knowing what was yours to do, be, and have?  Did it happen through a painful experience such as the socks, or did it happen because perhaps someone saw your light and let you know in a positive way that you were pretty cool?  I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday.  A girl pointed at my socks that I was wearing with a blue jumper and white shirt, and told me the socks were really ugly.  I was devastated.  I thought they were the most amazing socks on the planet because they had a design and weren’t just one color.  What a gift this was for me…to see already at age 7,that color in the world, and being different was amazing?  I remember sitting outside the classroom after the rebuff, and cooling my cheeks, looking out at the playground and questioning life so deeply at that moment.  I asked aloud, “Why is it so bad to be different?”  I did get an answer that day.  The voice inside my mind told me I had come here for a specific purpose, and that those socks WERE the best thing on the planet, and not to mind the girl making the comment.  So I tucked away the phrase that I was here for a specific purpose, and have used the experience ever since as my true awakening as a child.

I am certain we all could share childhood stories about experiences in this lifetime that were bound and determined to force us to stay in alignment with separation.  As my childhood continued, I fought many similar notions with clothes I wore, things I said to others, holding my personality back from others to remain a mystery, sometimes to those closest to me.

Why am I bringing this simple story up now?  I believe it is because I continue to sift back through this lifetime to pull up those memories of when I was aware that I was someone or something other than human, learning to be human, to be grateful for having markers to show me the way…show my true path to me in the moments when I forgot.  I am reading a series about fairy tales in the modern day world, where the fairy godmother placed memories in a bubble to store for when they might be needed.  This is what I feel has happened with my own memories of awakening.  I have several specific ones that I love to pull up out of the mass of bubbled memories to play over and over.  Another memory I love to play is one when I was about two years old, in my crib in the bedroom I shared with my brother.  I remember talking to him, and having a conversation like we were adults!  We were giggling so loudly that my mom came in and told us to be quiet. When I think back to this experience, I am blown away that we conversed like adults at these young ages.  We were one being to another, adults in these tiny bodies, sharing a moment…in another realm.

In these times, when we are hanging onto life by our fingernails, take some time to go back to rejoice in those moments when you knew your differences were a gift.  The joy that comes from these experiences lightens our days, and helps us hang on just a bit tighter, knowing it has all been so worth the struggle!

tree with light

Invisibility and Embodiment by Elektra Porzel

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Many of us have experienced invisibility as a cloak that we donned in this lifetime in order to survive in this society.  We used it to hide our larger nature of Being from showing, as we had learned early on that it was not welcome in this culture or in our families.  In my case, I was # 3 in my sibling lineup with #4 coming one year after and #5 18 months later.  Somewhere in the busyness of family life, I learned that I was invisible in terms of being seen in both the human and higher nature forms.  That invisibility also served my needs in that it helped me manage the tumult of the group.  I could move thru chaos without being noticed.   Ours was a family dominated by the extroverts and the introverts watched.  So, I also perceived and took to heart a message that ‘we will tell you when we want to hear from you’.  The me that I wanted them to hear was my larger nature, not the child or the adult. Yet, it seemed that none of those perspectives were actually requested, too much was going on.

My problem with learning invisibility as a child is that the habit stayed with me into adulthood.  If people didn’t ask me to tell them what I knew, I didn’t tell them.  If they didn’t ask me how I could help them, I didn’t tell them.  Only in sessions in my healing practice or in coaching sessions where people asked for the information or the healing, did I share.  I have noticed that I do this even now in my life at 70 years of age.  I have kept the perspective of my deeper nature quiet and allowed the world to see only the human administrator side or the teacher side.  Today a friend commented that I had a very soft heart and she knew that it was so different from the teacher that I give face to in the world.  I agreed as my heart spoke to the field of protection of it that I have maintained over the years.

Such a great aha!  In practicing invisibility, my nature of my Being and my soft heart are invisible to all except a few.  By waiting for the others to hear what my Being says, I am actually keeping her from speaking.   In practicality, I know that I must speak from my nature of Being with no expectation of being heard.  She/I need to BE out in the world.  Eventually, visibility will become natural to me and my soft heart will not have to be so defended.  The teacher will become softer and speak more from my heart and my nature of Being.  I sense a fierceness that I have not shown to the world much during this lifetime.  As I speak more as ‘who I am’, then a new dynamic will arise between myself and Creation, between myself and others. A vertical relationship with the nature of my Being will be dominant.  Thus embodiment will come as I take off the cloak of invisibility and stand in whom I came here to be.

I think that many of us were invisible in this lifetime, at least as far as being our nature of Being.  Isn’t it exciting that as each of us moves into a living of our nature of Being, we all get to experience this divine aspect of the other!  So, let’s all throw away our cloaks of invisibility and stand in the truth of our Being!!  Let us each speak from this nature knowing that it is the speaking that is critical, not that someone should totally grok what we are speaking!   We are all here to impact humanity and the world in some way.  In order to do that, we must speak and act.  All that each of us might have to do is impact one person and then our job may be done.  The only problem here is that, as Tantra has said, you will never know who that one person is.  So, let’s all dance in this vertical relationship with our nature of Being and Creation.  In that dance of loving life, loving each other, loving the earth, I am clear that whole new realities will be born.